So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
soo... how was my night?
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