my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
