i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
