i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
