He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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