I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Everything about him screamed your future.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
