I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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