how can u be prego again
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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