Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
