I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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