Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
