Where did you get a picture of my penis
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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