I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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