so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
