at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
