I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
