gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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