My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
