it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
