He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
