There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
