If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
