Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize