So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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