I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
