there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she smelled like a LAN party
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
