That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
