Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
