i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize