and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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