But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
There r osticjed everywhere
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
