And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
