And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dick very happy bro
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize