Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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