Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize