Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
