dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
