He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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