if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
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