I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Randomize
