guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
