Is it because I queefed?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize