she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
