I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize