Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
