What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
