Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
