Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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