Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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