D3 body, D1 cock
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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