I love black thongs
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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