I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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