I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
