So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
