Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
The ass gains better be worth it
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