No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
