all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
