also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
