these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize