Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Floor bacon is actually really good
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
