he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
