just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
