next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She even gives head with a lisp.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
