Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
