In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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