Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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