Betty ford says i'm here all night
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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