Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So many bounce houses so little time
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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