I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
