the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
