don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize