told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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