Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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