I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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