i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Randomize
