Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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