They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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