ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
