The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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